Shots in the Dark
by Deux Silences
Summary: She's the girl who saw too much, and he's the one sent to fix this problem. Rules are rules, right? [Fate route, canon divergence, can't write summaries. FSN Lancer x OC]
1. I - Mercy

_Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine,  
et lux perpetua luceat eis._

* * *

I - Mercy

It had been precisely two months since Flight 191 went down over the Pacific Ocean and took all 9 crew members and 136 passengers with it, two of whom hailed from Fuyuki City where their only daughter still resided. The news aired all over Japan, especially touted in the city due to the loss of local citizens. Although the wreckage of the plane was recovered, many bodies were not, leaving room for hope of their survival—hope which spiraled with every passing day, until those missing were declared dead in absentia, including Atosaki Kurokawa's mother and father.

She could remember her last words to them before their trip: "Come back soon."

Life for the young woman was reduced to little more than a monotonous drone, day-in and day-out the same routine of staying afloat and keeping up, just barely. She missed her parents terribly, she'd not yet finished grieving, and with their sudden passing she struggled to manage legal matters and tie up loose ends. The healing process didn't progress as it should have. Atosaki was still struggling with the trauma of last year, and she needed her parents now more than ever.

Nothing felt like home anymore. A magnitude 9.0 earthquake had utterly obliterated her last one. Fuyuki City was supposed to be a new beginning, yet it turned out as just another end. Misfortune after misfortune befell their family—shortly after Atosaki's mother was diagnosed with cancer, her father lost his job, and Atosaki could do nothing to help but pray when they decided to seek treatment in America with their remaining funds. After months passed, Atosaki received news that the procedures succeeded and her parents were coming home and they could be a family again.

Only, they never did.

Oftentimes she slept late into the afternoon and barely consumed a single meal throughout the day, but morning on this particular Sunday came early as she planned on visiting the church on the hill. While Atosaki was not terribly religious, her parents always had great faith in God, and she hoped her prayers would reach them. Not only that, she wanted to make a confession. She couldn't hold in the secret much longer.

"Father, I honestly believe I'm losing my mind. The other night… I saw something impossible."

The priest, Kirei Kotomine, with his somber cassock and insincere face, quirked one eyebrow in feigned interest. "Go on."

The black-haired girl, wearing a fittingly drab black dress in the wooden chair before him nodded, fingers interwoven on her lap.

"…There were… two men fighting each other in the yard outside Homurahara Academy. Not like a drunken fistfight or anything, they had actual bladed weapons. At first I thought they weren't real, but then one of them yelled out and disappeared like he was chasing something. I still… don't understand what I saw. It's been eating away at me because I can't make sense of it."

Kotomine sighed deeply, pensive. "Some aspects of life are not meant to make sense, like the way your parents passed, God rest their souls. That is the Lord's divine mystery. Do not dwell in the past, for you only have the future ahead of you. Allow it to play out as it will, and perhaps an answer shall come."

Atosaki grimaced when he mentioned her parents, even more so when he smirked slightly talking about this 'divine mystery' as if he knew some hilarious joke she did not. She hadn't expected much of a response from the priest, only wanting to lift the burden from her chest. Maybe, after weeks of isolation, she needed to speak with someone.

"Thank you, Father. I appreciate your advice," said Atosaki, standing and giving a hasty bow before she headed toward the nave and the exit.

"May the Lord be with you," replied Kotomine as he too stood to follow her path between the two rows of wooden pews.

His eyes stayed on the girl up until the church doors closed behind her. In the following silence he shook his head out of mild amusement, hands clasped at his back, and turned around, facing the altar.

"I know you can hear me," he said softly, dangerously. "You know what to do."

* * *

Atosaki went through the rest of the day with the distinct feeling that someone was watching her. Every so often she'd look back and check, but everything would appear normal. Even at the crowded market she sensed it, although that may have only been the cheap sushi she had for lunch beginning to disagree with her stomach. Unfortunately, money was tight since the unforeseen complications regarding inheritance were not yet resolved, and hiring a respectable lawyer wasn't exactly low-cost either. Instant ramen for dinner again, not that Atosaki minded much since a good dose of monosodium glutamate made virtually any meal taste good.

She returned home once the sun dipped below the horizon and night announced itself. Since the Kurokawa household sat on a dead silent street it couldn't have felt any lonelier. Atosaki's fatigue took the place of her earlier paranoia; she was too tired to worry about what was probably nothing. Arriving at the front porch, Atosaki planted herself down and for a moment did not move. The stars shone brighter and brighter every minute.

A sudden, loud tri-tone ring from her purse forced her to dig out her cellphone and tend to the alert on the screen. Perhaps it was the financial adviser getting back to her.

"_Remember,_" she read from a little popup box, "_take meds with dinner_. Oh, right. I'd probably forget again."

Atosaki grabbed the plastic grocery bags and hoisted them up, movements drowsy to the point that she tripped while taking off her shoes, landing with food scattered everywhere in the entrance. Oranges rolled down the hallway along with a few bottles of carbonated soft drink. She snatched only her purse and a packet of ramen before she stood to enter the kitchen. When finally she opened the medicine drawer she realized that the antidepressants were missing, shortly reminded that she placed them inside the bathroom cabinet in the morning.

On the way over, a shiver suddenly worked its way like a lightning bolt up her spine and Atosaki slowed her pace, slightly unnerved by the cold sensation, but she continued walking until she reached a picture of her family, the embarrassing vacation one, hung aslant from a nail in the hallway wall. She paused to adjust the frame and then, another step taken, suddenly slipped on a wayward orange, tipping backwards.

Seconds later she was sent reeling by the force of a crimson pole being thrust into the wooden flooring mere feet away. Splinters and broken panels rained down around her as she remained where she'd fallen flat on her bottom, paralyzed by fear. Every muscle in her body went numb, perhaps even those which controlled the respiratory system since she could hardly breathe.

It took a moment to realize that the projectile was actually a spear and its wielder still had his hands around it, crouched down as if inspecting the damage. He righted himself, sighed a bit and dislodged the weapon from the ground.

"A second time missing, just my luck…"

The blue-haired, blue-clad man stepped around the hole he made, bright red eyes fastened on the dark brown of Atosaki's, intentions painstakingly clear. His spear was at her throat in an instant. She gasped, recognizing him as one of the men from the schoolyard.

"Ready to die?" he asked her casually.

The girl blinked once and then glanced down at the spearhead and then looked at him. She merely smiled, sadly.

"Not really," was the gentle reply. "But at least I'll get to see _them_ again."

Lancer faltered slightly, surprised and confused at once. It had been a rhetorical question but she answered anyway, so calm. He shouldn't have cared either way—he'd done this a few times before—yet his gaze stayed fixed on that wan, defeated smile. Trying to look away before doing the deed, he saw a smashed picture frame on the ground, a photo of a family at the beach inside. The father wearing a black suit wore a bored, deadpan expression as the mother's hair blew in his face, and the young couple's overly excited child between them bore a striking resemblance to the girl on the floor.

The smile there, though far brighter, still looked the same.

"Hey."

A small voice called his attention and he noticed its owner staring at him. She maintained her smile naturally, without strain.

"If you're going to do it, you should do it," she suggested, almost laughing. "I mean, I can only admire the craftsmanship on this spear for so long."

He became increasingly frustrated by her audacity, and the fact he was hesitating. The girl didn't run, didn't scream, didn't fight back, she even talked to him, and that made things difficult. The lack of a struggle bewildered him so much that his drive and motivation actually dwindled. If anything, Lancer mused, he could kill her and wipe that infuriating smile off her face.

When he looked back down at the girl, her smile was crumbling the previous expression exchanged for muted grief. Unbearable tears glittered at the corners of her eyes.

"W-whenever I wanted to stay in bed all day," she whispered, staring down, "Mom always told me I can sleep when I'm dead. But honestly, I'm not tired yet."

Her trembling hands reached out and gripped Gáe Bolg by its shaft, almost begging to be killed. There were no good reasons left, she couldn't find any. Even if something here might save her somehow, even if a lifeline miraculously dropped into this pit, she'd decline the help. She wanted to stop because it hurt too much to try, to build up hope and see it all destroyed. She didn't want to live and she didn't want to die, what kind of life was that?

"It's okay though," she said softly, and raised her gaze. "I don't mind."

"…Shut up."

Atosaki watched as an undisguised shadow of rage passed over the man's face. He pulled his spear back, impatient, ready to strike. The girl only sighed.

"Ah, sorry. Stalling, aren't I?"

She closed her eyes and waited. It worried her that it might hurt, but of course, with a spear like that, death would be almost instantaneous. Hopefully her parents were waiting for her on the other side.

Hopefully.

A rush of air, and a loud crunch sounded as the spear impacted its target.

Silence, silence, more silence—silence and only silence, the most awful silence.

Yet there was no pain, no loss of consciousness. Atosaki opened her eyes, still on the floor, still in the company of that man in blue. He glared at her, hands empty, and she looked down to see his spear buried up to the handle next to her, on the left side.

"Uh, I think you missed," she said slowly.

The man wrenched his weapon out of the paneling and aimed the spearhead at her throat again, making her flinch.

"Don't dare go near the church," he growled. "If you do, I'll make sure not to miss next time."

Atosaki nodded vehemently. "O-okay. I'm… not very religious, anyway. The priest there is kinda creepy too."

The man added no further comment, and he withdrew the spear, eyes still on her face.

She canted her head to one side, genuinely curious about where he'd go from here. "Can I… show you the door?"

He only huffed, turned, and vanished into thin air.

And Atosaki was speechless. She lay back, spread-eagled in the hallway with her heart beating erratically. Her voice didn't come back to her for at least half an hour, after which she sat up and hyperventilated a little longer.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my… geh, no churches."

The girl got to her feet after another half hour and, grabbing the family photo, dragged herself around the hole in the floor and off to bed so she could curl up and pull the covers over her head.

What a day.


	2. II - A Momentary Fix

II - A Momentary Fix

She prayed with every fiber in her being that last night never happened. Just a dream, she tried to convince herself, or a very strange drug-induced hallucination. Staying curled up in bed wouldn't tell her one way or the other, however. Truthfully, not knowing at all seemed like a better option.

Atosaki rolled out of bed, still reluctant, throwing open the curtains to allow as much sunlight in as possible, like that would ward off danger. With great hesitation she poked her head outside into the hallway, and she paled immediately after.

The gaping hole in the floor remained, its jagged edges most undesirably recalling her near-death experience. Upon further investigation, Atosaki found that the hole reached soil, straight through the house's foundation. Had the spear reached its intended target, there wouldn't be much left for anyone to find. That was what one might call "massive overkill."

Head clouded with concerns, Atosaki eventually stumbled into the kitchen and sat at the dinner table, breakfast not yet prepared. Her stomach was far too knotted to even think about food. Last night, Atosaki couldn't believe it was real. That man in blue, he'd really been here, really tried to kill her, really spared her life. None of it made sense, and she considered herself a very rational person under normal circumstances. Now, she felt like she was running in circles trying to find answers.

Why, why did he want to kill her? She only ever saw him in passing, and it hadn't seemed that he noticed her. From what he said about the church, Atosaki was almost led to believe that Father Kotomine was somehow involved, but perhaps that was only a coincidence. After all, what kind of ties would he have needed with that spearman anyway?

With a sigh, Atosaki folded her arms on the table and put her head down a moment, and then looked up to see the pile of unread newspapers sitting across from her. She quickly snatched the most recent issue on top, just to distract herself for the time being. The cover story only further reiterated her fears.

Just days earlier a family from this exact same area had been violently murdered under mysterious circumstances. The only survivor out of the four was a young child, the parents and older sister found dead on the scene. They'd all been stabbed cleanly through the heart, reportedly by a sharp unknown weapon.

It scared Atosaki to believe that the same man who almost killed her was also the one responsible for these killings. An entire family—that was too cruel. The reason behind their deaths was still under investigation, though police reports suggested it had been a random act of violence. Atosaki found that hard to believe. If she'd been discovered dead following last night, what would they have called it?

Tossing the paper back with the others, Atosaki began to deeply regret secluding herself so much. If she hadn't been living under a rock for the past few weeks, she could have known about the potential hazard. She wouldn't have ventured out at all. She'd stay where it was safe. Yet, she admitted it, that wasn't any way to live.

At the rate she was going now, things didn't look terribly optimistic. Her heart felt broken, her chest riddled with holes where her loved ones once were. The hollow, empty feeling dragged her down like a weight, further and further until she could barely stand. Doctors said she suffered emotional trauma, although the grief counselors treated it like a small matter, something easily overcome. It wasn't the actual event that made something traumatic though, but rather the triggered emotions and lasting effects which followed.

Atosaki would eventually fall back into her normal routine—however normal one considered her routine—and forget about last night's events. On this rare occassion she fixed a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs with toast, sadly recalling the way her mother always served it with heated coffee milk. Luckily she remembered her morning medication and fetched it from the bathroom cabinet. After all, she'd been looking for the meds immediately before her brush with death.

Back in bed, she kept thinking about that man, no matter how hard she tried to forget. She wouldn't say she hated him but he had instilled a gut-wrenching pain into her soul, forcing her to live even more on edge than before, and she disliked it. His eyes though, his eyes held regret, as if he never wanted to kill her in the first place. And in the end he didn't. So close, he'd come so close.

The thoughts of him kept her awake, perhaps out of fear that he might return and finish the job. Finally Atosaki got out of bed and, still in her day clothing, cleaned up a bit in preparation to leave. She chose the florist shop as the first destination since she figured, after a few weeks, the old arrangement at her parents' memorial needed replacing.

Mums, the cultivated chrysanthemum, those were their favorite flower. Not the small ones either, the petals needed to be full, the center bright and healthy. Atosaki selected a few cuttings of yellow and magenta, ready to purchase when she found herself short on change.

"Shoot, I was sure I brought more," she mumbled, rummaging through her purse. The elderly florist showed sympathy for her plight, but being a penny-pincher offered no discount. "…I only have money for one bunch, sorry."

The memorial under the gingko tree was looking somewhat sad, somewhat lonely, like Atosaki didn't visit enough. She straightened out the glass-framed portraits of her mother and father, placed down the flowers and lit a few candles around them, the flames of which were immediately blown out by a brisk winter wind. Even when the sun shone brightly, Atosaki shivered.

"Hey, guys, something weird happened yesterday," she whispered as she hunkered down near the tree's trunk. "I think I almost died. Aha, I'm okay, don't worry. I just… I almost gave up. I'm so lost nowadays, and going forward is hard. I feel like I'm losing everything. The earthquake took enough from us, now this… We moved so suddenly, and I don't have anyone here for me."

Atosaki paused as the wind blew again and ruffled her long, dark hair. Somehow, this time, it felt warmer, almost in a consolatory way, and somehow it made her feel a little less alone. She smiled a bit, though she still felt chilled, more than usual.

"Sorry I couldn't get more flowers. I guess I should work harder and buy you tons of them later. So… I'll try."

She stood and brushed off her navy jeans, turning back once to look at the faces of her parents.

* * *

The walk home was tiring; Atosaki wasn't used to being out for this duration of time. By the time she returned, evening was already upon her, but even in the growing darkness she spotted something colorful on the front porch.

A small bouquet composed of a few flowers. Not just any flowers, the chrysanthemums. She raised a brow as she lifted the tied bundle, inspecting it for any notes or hints as to the identity of the sender. None. Perhaps the old florist had finally come around.

Atosaki filled a tall glass with water and placed the flowers inside, setting it on the kitchen table so she could admire their colors. Vivid pinks and yellows were accompanied by lilac and dark red shades, colors that lit up Atosaki's world. She rested her elbows on the wooden tabletop and set her head down, dizzy for no apparent reason. Her mind eventually drifted off into the haze.

A loud thud outside snapped Atosaki from sleep, setting her back ramrod straight and her hairs on end. She hurried to the door to check for the source of the noise.

What she found almost stopped her heart.

It was that man in blue from last night. He lay face-down on the porch like he had stumbled and fallen there, and fresh blood leaked from his side on the wood. Atosaki was for a moment rendered speechless. Part of her was furious to see him again, yet at the same time she felt sorrow about his pain. She stepped forward cautiously and knelt down, close enough to touch the man's head.

One hand reached out and barely brushed his hair when he flinched, startled. Atosaki couldn't see his face and couldn't imagine the expression. She reached out once more and rested her hand gently atop his head.

"What happened?" she murmured beneath her breath.

"Why… should you… even care?" he asked in return, struggling to form words.

"You're the one bleeding on my doorstep."

Atosaki waited for a response but received none. She wondered if he thought it was safe here, at the house of the girl he tried to kill. Maybe he considered her indebted to him for sparing her life. She'd never know unless he addressed it.

"I-I'll make sure… no one hurts you."

Realizing her hand was subconciously stroking his hair, she wondered why she said that. This man probably damaged her more than anything, psychologically, yet she couldn't leave him in such a state—her conscience wouldn't allow it.

Atosaki bent forward and looped her arms under his, encouraging him to stand. When he rose up, she moved to his side and let him lean against her for support, though his shoulder armor made him awfully heavy. For the first time she got a good glimpse of his features. He was undoubtedly good-looking, with a high brow and strands of hair hanging over his forehead in a devil-may-care style. She blinked a few times, seeing him stare back at her. Her gaze flew downward after a short pause and a moment of sustained eye contact.

"O-okay, let's get you inside," she said quietly, not panicking too hard, or trying to convince herself she wasn't.

Leading him down the hall to the bathroom, around the hole in the floor he'd made, Atosaki flipped on the light and helped prop him against the tub before she searched for a first-aid kit. He was bleeding from the side, so she'd need something that would stanch the blood flow.

"No magic? I'm not important enough, huh," he said in a flippant tone, leaning his head back, wearing a ghost of a smile.

Atosaki paused mid-search and raised an eyebrow.

"Magic…?"

He glanced up at her, the grin faltering.

"You're a magus, just like the last one. I sensed it."

There were now about a hundred questions in Atosaki's mind, bur she didn't bother asking.

"I think you've got the wrong idea," she said, continuing to rummage through the drawers. "I'm not magical or anything, trust me."

Bandages found in a kit under the sink, Atosaki sat down next to the man and began to unwind strips from the roll.

Suddenly he seized her wrist, turned the hand palm-side up and traced something there with a forefinger. He then pressed her hand to his side, whereupon Atosaki felt what seemed like a rush of blood cycle to the fingertips. When he released her hand, she saw that his wound looked completely dry.

"…What…?"

The man laughed humorlessly at her confusion. "Heh, untapped potential I guess. Not bad at all. I'm almost surprised he wanted you dead…"

"Wait, who wanted me d—?"

Atosaki stopped short, nausea overtaking her in a swift tide of progression, like her consciousness was being sapped out through a straw. Her vision darkened and the last thing she remembered was a blur of blue and two arms around her shoulders.


	3. III - Fever Pitch

III - Fever Pitch

"Hey, hey! What the—?"

Lancer seized the girl by the shoulders before she toppled forwards, then shaking her a few times back and forth with no immediate results. She weighed almost nothing, like a feather blown from glass in his hands: delicate and fragile and terribly, terribly breakable. It would have been easy to kill her yesterday, and it would be easy to kill her now. Stab her heart, break her neck, all very easy. Like Kotomine said, no one was going to miss her anyway.

Yet, seeing someone so vulnerable, he had no reason to chase her, no drive to do her harm. She lacked the natural fight or flight instinct, which in all truth Lancer _needed_ to see displayed by both the hunters and the hunted. He rarely encountered anyone actively seeking death, and when he finally did, he found he could not fulfill that wish. He kept asking himself why.

Letting such an easy target go was a failure on his part. When he found an unsuspecting enemy Master at dusk today he decided he'd take out his frustrations on the Berserker-class Servant, only to find himself too distracted for battle, landing him in a rather painful position. He knew going back to the church would only get him in trouble with his Master, but he could hardly think about consequences at the given moment. What remained of his anger must have led him back to the girl, though regrettably she had to see him in such a sorry state. It was in many ways humiliating.

Heaving a sigh, Lancer lay the girl down on the bathroom floor and stood to leave, like he'd never even been there, his curiosity sated. She did indeed possess Magic Circuits, but it appeared that the quality and quantity were poor, nothing demanding further investigation.

He began to walk out when the girl shifted, curling up against the tremors wracking her thin body. Chilled, he figured, but that wasn't his problem. Again he turned around, only stopping when he heard her cough softly. Then it struck him: if she was sick, it may not have been her Magic Circuits that were the problem. He returned to her side and knelt down, reaching out for her face, pausing just inches away. After what he'd done, it felt like a sin to lay hands on her. Not that this would be the worst he'd done before.

His fingertips barely brushed her forehead when he detected an elevated temperature. The girl was struggling to breathe, showing feverish symptoms, cheeks flushed and warm. Every now and then her eyelids fluttered but she did not awaken.

After a brief moment of silence he slipped one arm under her knees, the other used to support her shoulders, and stood, walking out of the bathroom and towards the bedroom he spotted at the end of the hall.

The room was sparsely decorated, the walls white and bare, a twin-size Western bed in the leftmost corner accompanied by a simple wooden bureau. There was a closet with a sliding door adjacent to the curtained window which faced the entrance and allowed starlight into the space. Lancer took a sweeping glance around before he entered and placed her down on the bed, right atop the sheets and blankets. She would have to get in herself if she wanted.

With that done, he faced the hallway and considered the hole in the floor from a distance when he felt soft fingers slide delicately around his wrist.

"Don't go."

The girl was still unconscious yet her lips formed those barely audible words in startling lucidity. She rolled onto her side and pulled his hand closer, resting her forehead against the cool skin, a contented sigh escaping into the quiet. Lancer allowed himself a grim smile. She wouldn't be saying things like that if she had her eyes open.

With that idiotic look of security, Lancer wondered if, perhaps, she was just too stupid to be afraid.

* * *

Atosaki awoke with a start, eyes flashing up to the view of a darkened ceiling washed by moonlight. A confused jumble of memories swept through her head, her fever only exacerbating her delirium. For a moment she thought she was a child again and her mother or father would be home to take care of her. No, she was painfully alone in the weakness. She could not remember what led up to this moment, besides passing out in the bathroom. It seemed the better option was to curl up in bed and pull the sheets over her head.

Eventually she asked herself, how exactly did she get on top of the bed?

Pondering the question, Atosaki slowly rolled off the mattress to pull back the blankets and jump in. When she finally felt settled she looked out the window and the surrounding trees of comfort. She needed familiarity, looking around her room and knowing everything was as it should be. Physically, anyway.

However, reaching the corner of the room, Atosaki had to do a double take and realized that someone was there, watching, most certainly out of place. Feverish, she didn't register him as anything but a hallucination until he walked toward her, red irises almost glowing against the dimly-lit darkness. He hardly registered as the man who attacked her one night ago, though Atosaki wouldn't have the strength to scream even if she did realize it.

With a groan she sat forward, searched blindly around the nightstand beside her and found a full glass of water there. She picked it up once the man approached the foot of her bed and, calmly, splashed the entire cup in his face.

And then she jumped when he swore loudly, wiping at his eyes and shaking his head.

"The hell was that for?" the man demanded, like he really wanted to know.

She looked down at the cup and then at him and back at the cup.

"Uhm, needa make sure you're real," she slurred, massaging the bridge of her nose to ward off the siren call of an impending headache.

The man groaned in exasperation and got even closer, staring directly at her. She drew back from him, becoming more aware of who he was and what had transpired.

"So," she began casually, "you came crawling back here for help. Don't know what I did, but what now? Wanna take another shot at me?"

He shook his head. "It's only because you owe me."

"A-are you serious?" Atosaki frowned. "_I_ owe you? Yeah, like I owe the freaking spear-wielding blue bodysuit assassin anything."

"No, I'm not the Assassin, but you got everything else right," the man mumbled, a half-smile on his lips, and then he crossed his arms, glancing off to the side. "Look, I didn't finish the job, so at least be a little grateful."

Atosaki's outraged expression softened. "Can I... can I ask you something?"

"Do whatever you want."

"Why?" she said quietly. "Why did you not?"

His eyes darted away from hers. "Doesn't really matter."

"...They say there was a triple homicide recently, a family, and only the youngest child survived. I don't mean to point fingers, but..."

"So you want to know if I killed them."

"Sort of," Atosaki admitted, but when he opened his mouth she stopped him. "No, don't tell me. It's okay."

The man quirked an eyebrow. "You're being awfully friendly for someone I tried to stab."

"Like you said, you didn't finish the job," replied Atosaki with a dry laugh, then turning serious. "You don't seem like a bad person in that respect. What got you into the business? Money? Pleasure? Personal vendetta?"

"Let's just say I'm under a contract. One I am obligated to uphold."

"I'm guessing there's a contractor involved too," Atosaki said, and when she looked at the man expectantly he nodded.

"You don't need to know any more than that. It all goes downhill from there."

A lapse of silence set in, and Atosaki drew her knees up to her chest and rested her head, eyes still watching the man.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"My...?"

"Y'know, even if it's a codename or whatever, I just wanna call you by something."

"Lancer," he said curtly.

She grinned. "Nice. Well, in case you don't know already, I'm Atosaki."

Lancer sighed, suddenly reaching out and touching her forehead. "There's no need for introductions. You're never going to see me again. Forget I was ever here."

Atosaki flinched at the sudden contact, unsure of what to say. She smiled sadly. "...Is that how you live? Everyone you meet... they come and go so fast. Do you get lonely?"

His hand suddenly fell away, his expression blank.

"Loneliness, huh," Lancer muttered. "Never noticed."

"Ah, I see. I was just wondering. That's good I guess, I don't like being lonely."

He turned towards the door, not looking at Atosaki. "The people you've lost are always with you, whether their memories act to haunt or comfort. I'm hoping for you it's the latter."

With that, Lancer vanished into thin air, leaving Atosaki shocked and wide-eyed.

"...Shoot, I should have asked about the magic. I can't even anymore..."

Too tired to question anything, Atosaki allowed herself to flop back down, falling asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Moving quickly across the city, Lancer tried not to think, tried to focus on the road ahead. He didn't want to think about that girl. She was the first person in this city who talked with him, at least outside of battle. Not that it was allowed, he was supposed to either kill the witness or wipe their mind, tricky and uncertain as the brainwashing rune tended to be. The things she said were so senseless too—lonely, he didn't need to worry about getting lonely. Even worse, she talked to him almost like a friend. Maybe she really was too stupid to be afraid.

What he found mildly interesting was her magic energy. Under normal circumstances it could only be held within the body, once released "evaporating" into the Greater Source unless used for a spell, but he sensed a constant flow circling around her, as if there were an invisible wall containing the output. He had utilized a rune to temporarily breach the barrier, and the flow of raw energy, without conversion to prana, transferred so much life force that it repaired his injuries, something like a healing soul transfer.

Depending on the quantity she could store and the quality of her Magic Circuits, a magus like that could potentially keep a Servant alive for the entire War without breaking a sweat. It was almost as if she generated mana like the world itself and held it in her atmosphere.

Of course, being untrained, Lancer doubted she would last too long, if she even managed to dig into her supply at all. Most magi who possessed the same abilities, if any at all, probably died early from overexertion. It would be best if he never brought it up, for her welfare.

Not that it mattered. Not that he was ever going to visit again.

Not that he found himself caring about her.


	4. IV - The Void

IV – The Void

A few days passed since the last run-in with Lancer, and Atosaki was gradually getting better and regaining strength. The sudden onset of illness could have been attributed to one of many things, perhaps airborne bacteria or from staying out too long in the cold. After a few queasy up-ended meals, she suspected that someone sick sneezed on her food without telling her. At the very least she ate more as she recovered, probably created by her previous inability to eat anything without heading off to the bathroom in a minute or two.

She didn't stop to think about last night, or the night before that, mostly for the sake of her sanity. Maybe she was going insane, but one of her therapists had informed her that one was only truly insane when they stopped considering the notion of insanity, like if she really truly began to believe she was Joan of Arc without question. Then again, she couldn't dispute that Lancer was real, that some form of magic was real, and that for a moment she came into contact with a world she never knew even existed.

Poking her head outside, Atosaki made sure to wear a heavier duffle coat and a scarf so as to negate the possibility of a cold. The sun was at the pinnacle of its journey in the sky, shedding light which, like with the other wispy clouds in the sky, brightened the mist of her warm exhales. Even though it was growing increasingly wintry, Atosaki sat on the porch, listening to the hum of traffic from far away.

It seemed that all these incidents took place at night. That was probably when Lancer and other magical superhuman beings went on the move. She would take greater precaution in the evening, probably lock up extra tight and hide in bed. If only she knew how to set up a magic barrier or something to keep out intruders.

One half of her hoped that she never saw Lancer ever again, that she could move past the strange experiences like nothing ever happened. The other half, however, didn't want to. She wanted to meet him again and have him tell her about magic and powers and even himself. With that desire, she kept looking back, unable to advance, overly intrigued. She opened a door that she could not close.

When night fell at last, Atosaki closed the blinds and went into her parent's bedroom where the lights could be brightened or dimmed. Ever since their disappearance, Atosaki hadn't touched their belongings. Everything was where it was before they left, like it waited for them to return. She sighed, sitting on their bed, her expression vacant, eyes roving around restlessly before settling on the nightstand and its partially opened drawer.

Atosaki went to close it, but seeing something twinkle inside she pulled it out more to check what it was. Upon reaching in, a red-hot pain ran from the fingertips of her hand all the way up her arm, and she instinctively reeled backwards, dragging out whatever burned her as well.

A small leather-bound diary flopped on the carpet, a light blue crystal jutting out from its cover. Curious and perturbed at once, Atosaki retrieved it to check it and peruse its contents. All but one page had been ripped out, and the ink, though relatively fresh, was smudged as if written hastily. She could not make out the date, but there were a few sentences which stood out.

"…_Elemental Affinity change, test failure… _U-uh, _resulting… blight, worsened… treatment in America._"

Elemental Affinity? Blight? What did that have to with treatment, which Atosaki assumed referred to her mother's cancer treatment in America. Almost everything else on the page was illegible, but when she turned it over she found a note written in darker, hard-pressed ink.

"_On return: remove the seal… and tell her._"

Atosaki could only wonder if this concerned her, who wrote this and what they were talking about. A creeping suspicion dawned on her, that this all had to do with magic or magecraft or whatever it was, and there was something being kept secret by her parents. She hoped these things weren't written by her mother or father, but it didn't make much sense for the diary to belong to anyone else.

She turned it over and prodded at the crystal stuck fast on the cover, the surface of which glowed with an aquamarine hue and felt almost warm to the touch. How it got there was anyone's guess, yet Atosaki somehow suspected that what happened earlier had something to do with it.

To Atosaki's surprise, a few seconds later the crystal began to melt, becoming what looked like a lump of clay before finally disappearing, as if evaporated. Just as she was about to open the diary again, an odd tremor ran through the air, like the sensation right before an earthquake. Like the very atmosphere was quaking instead of the ground. The lightbulbs above suddenly exploded, loudly, in a shower of sparks. Everything went dark save for the shafts of moonlight flooding in from between the window shutters.

A suppressed scream escaped Atosaki's lips as strange silhouettes began to rise up out of the floor. They appeared to be zombies of sorts holding rigid weapons, but once Atosaki ran to open the blinds she saw that they were actually distorted skeletons, humanlike but not, their skulls replaced by a pair of gaping jaws.

"Not again…" Atosaki groaned, inching towards the door. The horde of skeletons watched her without eyes, rotating in sync with her movements, going still when she did. And then she bolted out of the bedroom and into the hallway, blindly turning corners until she was almost out the door.

More skeletons rose up from the front yard, stopping her dead in her tracks on the porch. Atosaki's chest rose and fell erratically as she searched for a way out. She considered jumping the side railing when a voice cut through the silence.

"My, my. What a careless little Master you are."

A cloaked woman materialized out of nowhere and float over the skeletons, her eyes obscured by a hood but a wicked grin showing all the same. Atosaki paled, unable to speak.

"Let me count your mistakes," the woman continued in an amused drawl. "No defense. Unchecked mana spikes. Your Servant being so active in these parts… How quaint. It was really only a matter of time before I found you. Is he even home at the moment? I was expecting a good fight."

A million questions jumped up on Atosaki's lips, but she decided against asking them. She had the feeling that anything she said was going to be used against her.

"Hmm, cat got your tongue?" The woman chuckled lightly. "No matter, I like it simple. A shame though, you seemed to have had potential. Ah well. Goodbye, little Master."

Pools of bright violet energy formed in the air around the woman and hummed lightly, glowing bright. She smiled at Atosaki, who realized what was coming next. The girl couldn't even move before the energy beams fired and met the target, an explosion tearing through the front portion of the Western-style home.

A pillar of smoke billowed upward, gradually dispersing and revealing an intricate crystal formation where the girl should have been. The spikes of turquoise rock shortly fell to the smoldering ground in liquidy clumps, fading at Atosaki's feet as she watched in shock.

"Wh-what…?"

"Crystallized… ether?" The spellcaster frowned. "I see, you have an affinity for the Void. Quite more common in the Age of the Gods, but I suppose magi like you pop up from time to time… Combined with Earth to materialize as crystal… very nice, though you lack training…"

"What are you _talking_ about?" Atosaki demanded, irked by the woman's nonsensical musings.

"Oh, nothing. But perhaps I might interest you in a temporary alliance. You've seen what I can do, and your skills would make for an excellent prana conductor. Or a human shield."

"Hey. Hands off, Caster."

Atosaki watched the energy vortexes around the woman faded, and she maneuvered to avoid the spear which flew straight through the space she had previously occupied. A familiar blue-outfitted spearman leapt from the rooftop to retrieve his weapon.

The girl's eyes widened. "L-Lancer?"

He ignored her for the moment and turned to the woman glaring at him.

"I think you've got the wrong idea, Caster," said Lancer. "This is my fallback and I don't like you making a mess of things around here."

She looked confused. "Fallback? So this girl isn't your Master after all?"

"Let's just say I'm making use of her for the time being. If you want to get rid of my resources, I'll be sure to get rid of yours."

"Oh, is that a threat? Hm, I will say you have good taste… Too bad, I would have liked to teach her a thing or two." The Caster woman waved a hand, allowing the skeleton army beneath her disappear. "Seeing as your Master remains hidden in the shadows and I'm feeling generous, I think I can let this one go. The girl seems clueless enough. Keep an eye on her though, she's a rare one, wouldn't want her getting stolen by another Servant."

With that, the hooded woman vanished into the night sky, leaving behind no trace of herself save for the destruction inflicted on Atosaki's house.

"Dammit, I was supposed to sell this!" Atosaki cried about the damage. She turned to Lancer accusingly. "What. The. _Hell_ was _that_ about? How many near-death experiences does one person need in a week? This… never would have happened if it weren't for you, Lancer! Can't you just leave me alone?!"

Lancer raised an eyebrow at her. Atosaki opened and closed her mouth helplessly, looking between him and the wrecked portion of her house. She sank down on the turf and sighed, her head cradled in her hands.

"Sorry, sorry, I know it's not your fault. Just… this keeps happening, these crazy things. And m-magic… I never knew. I think I'm gonna go insane. Someone help me."

As Atosaki bit back her anguish, she felt a hand on top of her head and she raised her eyes to see Lancer's sympathetic expression.

"Look kid, I won't fault you for blaming me. Heck, if it makes you feel better blame me all you want. But unfortunately you're already up to your knees in this mess and it's up to you how you get out of it."

"Y-yeah," Atosaki said quietly, averting her eyes. "I just… don't have any idea what I'm doing. Am I… supposed to learn to control these… these _powers? _Will that keep me safe? I…"

"Sorry, don't have the answer to that. You've got a stopper of sorts on your magic, so I can't say what you're capable of either. You've got something though." Lancer sighed and knelt at the girl's side. "Tell you what, let's make a deal. I can keep watch around these parts if you give me a place to crash. I hate where I'm stationed right now."

After a moment she nodded her head, not about to argue. "Alright. But are you sure you want to stay here? I mean, look at this…"

Lancer glanced over at the house, which he could admit looked like a bomb hit it. He turned back and grinned a bit at the girl. "Don't worry, I'll clean it up. Had to do it over at that school the other night."

"…So it was you," Atosaki murmured, though Lancer didn't hear. Or perhaps he pretended not to hear.

"Leave this to me. Go get some rest or something."

Atosaki looked at the ground and stood slowly, knees balking suddenly and forcing Lancer to catch her.

"H-hey," he uttered as he supported her by the shoulders.

"It's alright," she said, face blank. "I think I can stand or fall on my own."

The girl righted herself without looking at him before walking around the side of the house, probably to use a backdoor since the front was unusable. Lancer watched her disappear around the corner, thinking back to the abilities she displayed when facing Caster and what he observed in the past week.

"Materialized nothingness, huh. Not sure anything good can come of that… Guess I'll get to see soon enough—"

"Lancer."

He found Atosaki had returned, carrying a broom and a plastic dustpan. She held them out to him.

"E-eh…?"

"I thought you might need these," she said, completely serious. When he accepted them, she smiled. "Okay then, I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight."

Lancer stared at her as she left, and then the simple cleaning implements and then the smoking, burning wreckage. Very helpful.

"…Interesting girl, aren't ya."

* * *

_A/N: Oh wow, thank you guys for following this story and giving it support. I kind of lost my muse for a while, but I'm back on it. Hopefully you'll continue reading! Oh, and if you could, please leave a review! I seriously love hearing from you. ^^_


	5. V - Loss and Gain

"W-wow, you did a good job…"

Atosaki marveled in awe at the near flawlessly reconstructed kitchen. Her gaze shifted to Lancer, who stood nearby wearing a white short-sleeve shirt and leather pants, a proud look on his face.

"What'd you expect?" he asked smugly.

"Not this much," she admitted as she pulled out a chair and sat at the dining table. "Th… thank you."

Lancer gave an almost audible shrug; Atosaki didn't even need to look up to know that his shoulders had risen and fallen.

"The hole in the hallway is still there, though," she noted.

"Err, yeah. I was gonna get to that, but I got caught up trying to replace this 'sertraline' stuff… What was it for, anyway?"

Raising an eyebrow, Atosaki looked up and saw Lancer wiggling an orange medicine bottle held between his thumb and forefinger. Apparently her antidepressants had become a casualty of Caster's attack.

"Uhm… just some supplements…"

"Smells toxic, whatever it is. Don't take 'em anymore."

"I can't quit cold turkey," Atosaki retorted, though she got the feeling he was right.

"Cold…?"

"I… I need to go to the pharmacy then. Can't miss too many days…"

He watched her stand and collect herself, her actions a little erratic. She seemed embarrassed for some reason, but he wasn't about to pry.

"Lemme tag along."

"E-eh?" Atosaki smiled nervously, a purse thrown limply over her shoulder. "You sure you should be walking around in broad daylight?"

"Don't think anyone's gonna recognize me," Lancer replied, stepping past her toward the door.

"Oh, like you don't stick out like a sore thumb."

Everything about him screamed noticeability. She'd never forget that blue hair of his, and she was confident that no one else would either. Unless anyone who saw him never had a chance to tell the tale.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

Lancer's voice drew her back to the present. She glanced over at him, thinking while she walked.

"Your hair," she said, not telling a total lie. "I like it."

"Definitely got me the ladies back in Ireland," he boasted. One hand slid down the back of his neck, almost self-conscious, or maybe Atosaki simply perceived it that way.

"Ah, you're Irish? I never would've guessed."

"It's 'cause you're not supposed to know."

"Right, right."

Atosaki nodded firmly, her lips caught between a grin and a grimace. He smiled so easily, could make a joke out of almost anything, yet behind all of that there seemed to be something else, a hidden sadness. She wasn't so surprised though. After what he almost did to her during their first meeting, she couldn't know for sure what he was really like.

It was scary to think that she was probably walking next to a killer.

"…Do I make you uncomfortable?"

Atosaki didn't know how to answer Lancer's question, and so she hesitated. To say no wouldn't be completely sincere, but saying yes just sounded rude.

"I… well…"

She clasped her hands together, staring down at the sidewalk.

"I won't fault you for it," Lancer said with a sigh. "I've probably got the suckiest job in the universe right now and of course it's not gonna get me any kudos… Ah, damn, what am I tryin' to say here…"

Being revered as a hero throughout history, the dirty work Kirei Kotomine had Lancer do was an absolute insult to his name. He could imagine his teacher's disappointment over his role in the Holy Grail War—it should have been a noble exploit, not something to be ashamed of.

The girl he tried to kill didn't have anything to do with the War, she wasn't even a warrior. And the boy who summoned Saber was wrong: Lancer_ didn't_ kill like it was nothing. He wasn't that kind of person, yet all the signs pointed to it. If anyone, he wanted to kill Kotomine, for what he did to his former Master and what he was making him do now, but to stay in this world Lancer had no choice but to follow orders.

Did that still make a blameless crime?

"Th-that doesn't mean I don't like being with you!"

Lancer saw Atosaki blushing a bit after her outburst, searching for words.

"I mean… yeah," she stammered. "You're… a pretty cool guy, I think. I haven't known you long, but… you're probably keeping me sane in this craziness… and you're not unkind."

So she didn't judge harshly. His expression softened as he looked at her, this girl he hardly knew who understood him more than anyone else. When she returned his gaze he looked away, not sure of what to say in return.

He felt her hand pull gently at his ponytail.

"Don't look so down," she said. "I want to see you with a smile."

"Heh… you're right. Thanks, kid. You keep that in mind too."

"Huh?" She pretended not to get what he was alluding to, tried to uphold a brave front.

"I can tell you've lost a lot," he said. "That picture, the flowers, even your eyes… They tell me all I need to know."

"W-wait, what flowers…?"

By now Atosaki was blushing bright red, partially because he learned so much, and also because he saw the entire picture, the portrait of a hypocrite. She would always cheer on others, just not herself. He saw right through her.

She tried to change the subject. "Have you been stalking me…?"

When he only grinned and turned away, she jostled him playfully. Never in a million years did Atosaki ever think she could act so naturally with Lancer. If only they had met under different circumstances, and it didn't feel like every moment would be their last.

Like every moment might get both of them killed.

* * *

The pharmacist inside the supercenter kept giving Atosaki curious glances, a silent request for an explanation, and when she found herself empty-handed she made the first move.

"So, Miss Kurokawa," she said, filling up the prescription bottle, "who's the guy you walked in with?"

Atosaki watched the pharmacist give a nod toward Lancer as he browsed a selection of Hawaiian shirts in an aisle near the pharmacy counter, an inquisitive look plastered on his face.

"He's a friend."

"Ooh, that's nice! So how did you two meet?"

_When he almost murdered me_, Atosaki was tempted to say. "Random encounter. It was a bit rocky at first, but he's growing on me."

"Quite an improvement there. I do hope he'll be the change you need in your life."

"Um, change?" Atosaki asked.

The pharmacist handed over the medication, nodding.

"You've been so sad lately, but you seem brighter now. I'm glad to see your smile again." The real one, she thought, not saying that to Atosaki. "Well, if you can just sign here…"

"Yes, of course…"

"Hey, what do you think?"

Atosaki watched Lancer walk over wearing a stoplight-colored shirt, the reds and greens and yellows fully lit under the halogen lights. She suppressed a snort.

"Glorious."

He smirked, moving to unbutton the front and put it back.

"Do you want me to buy it for you?" Atosaki asked suddenly.

Lancer looked surprised. "Oh, nah, you should save your money…"

"But I'd like to…" she said, retrieving her wallet again.

"I'll do it!" the pharmacist piped in. Both Lancer and Atosaki were taken aback. "…What? I don't mind helping you two out."

Atosaki still kept her money in hand. "Is that really alright?"

"Of course! How can you say no to those colors?"

"Wow, thank you so much!"

Lancer laughed. "Yeah, thanks. I totally agree…"

So the two of them departed for home with some antidepressants and a Hawaiian shirt on the house.

* * *

Later in the afternoon, Atosaki began rooting through her parents' things, seeking answers to the questions they left behind. She felt rude doing so, but she needed to know why she could do what she did, and why they never told her. Unfortunately, it appeared they had taken most of their papers with them to America, leaving little which Atosaki could actually use. She would probably end up getting most of her answers out of Lancer.

Sighing, Atosaki exited the study, noticing Lancer crouched down near the hole in the hallway, his eyebrows furrowed.

"What's wrong?"

"…Y'know, I mighta stabbed this area 'cause I felt energy residue around it. Lemme just…" He materialized his spear and prodded at the rock below. "Huh. I knew it."

"Knew what?"

Before she could say anything else, Lancer thrust his spear directly into the wall, eliciting a surprised yelp from Atosaki.

"Sorry," he said as he pulled it out.

The floorboards shifted abruptly, parting to fully reveal the foundation beneath the hole. Atosaki backed up, amazed, when the ground rumbled and sank, forming a stone staircase leading somewhere underground.

"Holy crap," she muttered. "How could I have lived in this house and never known that was there? What the heck is it for, anyway?"

Lancer stepped down into the stairs, offering a hand to Atosaki.

"You ready to find out?" he asked.

Atosaki gulped, honestly unsure. Was she ready? As hard as she searched for the truth, did she really want to know? Recalling the raw power which surged through her veins, the crystals as they erupted from the ground, those feelings of confusion and betrayal—there had to be a reason behind them. Only, somehow it felt safer knowing nothing at all.

She looked to Lancer and saw how his eyes shone with reassurance and the confidence that everything was going to be alright. She wasn't alone. And if he was the one by her side, then yes, she was ready. Readier than she'd ever be.

Atosaki's fingers found his, and he remembered the night she fell ill and took him by the hand. Now she did so with eyes open, fully conscious, fully willing. She dropped herself into the stairwell, struggling to balance on the first landing, her body leaned against him.

"_I think I can stand or fall on my own."_

Lancer hesitated before he pulled the girl in and wrapped his free hand around her shoulders.

"L-Lancer, what're you…?"

"Atosaki Kurokawa, are you afraid?"

"…Afraid of what?" she asked, peering up at his face.

When he said nothing, only waited, she put her head momentarily against his shoulder and spoke.

"No, I'm not." The girl turned to the darkness and then back to Lancer, a gentle smile playing on her lips.

"So let's go."

* * *

A/N: Hi everyone, thanks so much for your reviews and favorites and follows, it makes me crazy happy. Hopefully my updates get a little faster; I've been traveling abroad for a while now. Please tell me what you think, offer your opinions and/or give suggestions! See you all soon, and thank you again for your continuing support of _Shots in the Dark_.


	6. VI - To Hide the Truth

VI – To Hide the Truth

There was once a girl named Áine K. Fraga born nineteen years ago to the date in a small coastal town in Ireland, the daughter of an Irishman and a Japanese woman who loved each other very dearly. Her father's family would have rejoiced to receive an heir worthy of their bloodline, only the child was born out of wedlock and everyone knew it, seeing how terribly dispassionate his legitimate marriage had been. As much potential as a magus the Fragas saw in Áine, they declined to consider her as a potential candidate for their teachings and made sure she and her mother were blotted from the family tree.

Ashamed of their actions, Áine's parents split soon thereafter, her mother later relocating to her native country and finding a man who loved Áine like his own. However, it eventually came to light that this man had ulterior motives, though not self-interested or malicious. This man was an Enforcer of the Mage's Association, a magic-user like those of the Fragas Áine never knew, and he was intent on saving the girl from a sad fate.

It turned out someone in the family had reported the circumstances of Áine's birth, as well as her notable magic traits, which later garnered the attention of the Association. Hearing about her immense mana reservoirs, the rare Elemental Affinity passed on from her inexpert magus of a mother and her father's inherited Sorcery Trait, they wished for the girl to represent them in the future as a Master in the Fifth Holy Grail War at Fuyuki and have the Fragas make her the holder of the family-inherited Noble Phantasm. The family refused however since another child four years older had already been selected to carry Fragarach.

Despite this the Association remained undeterred. They told Áine's mother that the girl's power should be disabled using any means necessary if it would not be used, or else they would place a Sealing Designation on her to preserve her potential while she grew older. Because Áine's mother knew little about magic despite her heritage, her daughter faced becoming a slave to her magic, and the Fragas rejected them completely, wanting to have nothing to do with the Association.

An Enforcer was later sent to collect Áine, but the more he learned about her, the more he came to sympathize with her plight. He offered his help in suppressing the girl's abilities without hurting her, and Áine's mother happily accepted. The two of them slowly fell in love, and because the Enforcer loved Áine so much as well, her mother suggested that she be given a new name of his choice. She was named Atosaki and took her mother's maiden name, Kurokawa.

"Before and after," the Enforcer had said. "Beginning and end. This should be a new start for her."

Unfortunately, that new start could only point to another dead end. When Atosaki got older, her magical powers flourished in spite of the efforts made to subdue them. She exhibited amazing talent with the elemental Void taken from her mother's side, and combining it with the element of Earth she learned to crystallize ether, a uniquely formless substance known for its conductivity and connection to the First Magic. It had been widely believed only divine beings and humans from the Age of the Gods could make use of ether, making Atosaki's newfound skillset highly coveted, since ether was the absolute medium through which magecraft was performed.

With the possibility of being used as a prana conductor, a powerhouse or even a weapon, many magi desired to use Atosaki's ether materialization for their own gain. There was even speculation that this particular ether could sustain a Servant throughout the entire Holy Grail War, battles and all. Once the Association learned of this through other agents, they condemned their Enforcer's efforts to seal the girl's magic gently and when he neither gave up nor found success, they branded him a rogue magus.

The fight to save Atosaki from a fate as a tool began to take a dark turn. Her mother and the Enforcer were pursued relentlessly by both the Association and greedy magi, forcing them to move often and conduct their business in secret. Instead of trying to shut off Atosaki's magic altogether, they opted for an Elemental Affinity change, a dangerous and potentially painful process, to stop her from creating the wanted material, in the hope she might be left alone afterwards. For the time being the magic inside her was placed in an unsteady state of hibernation to conceal its signature and prevent her from using it, or even knowing it was there.

Being from the Kurokawa clan, Atosaki's mother carried the same Elemental Affinity and volunteered to undergo numerous experiments beforehand so no harm came to her daughter, though each of which ended in absolute failure. She faced terrible punishment for attempting to revolt against nature, being cursed and poisoned and tortured by the rituals. Atosaki was kept under the pretense that her mother simply suffered from illness.

Many times the struggles between Atosaki's side and the opposition grew bloody, and countless people were caught in the crossfire. When Atosaki turned eighteen, a strike against her and the ensuing battle resulted in an earthquake which leveled the surrounding area. Of course, she didn't know at the time, taking the move to a new city in stride. She rather liked Fuyuki, although she noticed her sick mother and the man she called her father were anxious, more so than ever.

Around a year later her parents announced a trip to America to "help her mother get better." The ritual treatment there reversed years of damage so that the Affinity-change trials could continue, but in a tragic turn of events the plane that Atosaki's mother and the Enforcer took on the trip home had been hijacked by a desperate and depraved magician who believed that if he couldn't have Atosaki's power, no one could have it at all.

The conflict culminated in the loss of all 145 passengers, ruled as a tragic mechanical error by investigators even though the aircraft was never recovered—there was nothing left of it to find. Word spread to the Association that Atosaki, her mother and the Enforcer that helped them had all been killed in the crash, and the case of Áine K. Fraga was finally considered closed.

No one needed to know the truth.

* * *

Atosaki's hands shook as she rifled through her entire life's story in that dark subterranean chamber. She could have been there for minutes or months, she couldn't tell. Endless photos and papers spilled over the magic circle etched in the center of the room, everything from the ceiling to the floor overturned as she desperately searched for something there that made sense. Her tears fell on a photo which showed her mother with another man, a foreigner she did not know, holding a swaddled infant she soon understood to be herself. The name _Áine__ K. Fraga _appeared over and over and it did not register in Atosaki's mind that this was her name as well.

_**アーニ**__**ャ・**__**ケ**__**イ・**__**フラガ**_

_**Áine**__** K. Fraga**_**.**

Who was this girl, this girl who created hell wherever she went?

Why did so many people get hurt because of her? Why did so many people die because of her?

Just who was she?

_Who was she?_

_**黒**__**川 後先**_

_**Kurokawa Atosaki.**_

"N-no way…"

She let the documents slip from her grip and fall on the ground. Lancer watched her without a word, though she felt the concern of his eyes. He hadn't asked what was wrong or looked very closely at anything in the room, but he could sense Atosaki's distress and was about to speak when a sharp ping resounded from what she dropped.

On the stones of the ground lay a pewter pendant on a leather cord, worn and tarnished with age. Despite its condition it radiated power, as well as a strange sense of familiarity, such that Lancer could immediately tell the pendant was meant for summoning a Servant—and not just any Servant.

The Celtic knot-work was all too familiar, and the two beasts forged from the metal were unmistakable.

"The dogs… I'll be damned."

Atosaki stared down at the pendant, and then at Lancer.

"You know what that is?" she asked.

"Sort of," he replied grimly.

Picking up the pendant, he glimpsed the surname Fraga on a nearby manuscript, his blood going cold on the spot. That name sounded familiar—it had been the bloodline of his former Master, Bazett McRemitz, the one Kotomine killed without batting an eye. She made it only four days in the War before she lost her arm, her Command Seals, and her life to him.

As Lancer skimmed over the words written there, he began to see it now, how it all came together, how fate was a cruel and twisted thing for leading him to two people of the same family in the worst way possible. It seemed so scarily contrived yet made absolutely no sense. If there was some meaning behind any of this it had been lost on him entirely.

"Hey, Lancer?"

"Huh…?"

Atosaki smiled weakly. "You look almost as bad as I am right now."

"…You can say that I'm… a little surprised too…"

"Why, because my entire life was a lie, and nothing I believed in was real…?"

His heart sank in his chest to hear her talk like that. He wasn't about to pry too far, but he got the gist of the situation, and it wasn't good either. Someone had withheld the truth from this girl for a long time.

"Who the hell am I?" She pleaded for a straight answer. "How is Áine K. Fraga supposed to be me? I'm not… My father was not… They wanted me, for some War, but I… Everyone died because of me! Just because I was born...! It would have been better if I—"

Atosaki stopped as Lancer stepped closer to her and dangled the pewter pendant in front of her face.

"These are the sacred hounds of Cú Chulainn," he said quietly, "a great hero whose duty it was to defend his people and his land. This pendant is worn for steadfastness to goals—to be like that hero and do the unthinkable, to fight when the going gets rough and everything is falling apart around you. You must never give up, even when all odds are stacked against you, understand?"

Lancer shook the pendant on its chain to drive his point home, and Atosaki nodded, seeing the kind of expression on his face which spoke of pain from unknown depths, like he not only felt sorry for her, but for himself.

_Because you're still alive… and for you, anything is possible._

"I know it doesn't fix the past for you… but I'm gonna ask you to keep your sights set on the future. You'll find more hope there than you will ten miles back. Forget about wars and forget about the things you can't change. Live for the moment, and live it well."

He was such a hypocrite, prating about goals and hopes and dreams while his were long over, and all he actually had to cling on to was the past. He was sure she knew it too, from the look she gave him. Yet the girl smiled and nodded tearfully.

"Geez Lancer, you and your motivational speeches… But you're right… And I… well, thank you."

"Got my point across, did I?" he asked with a small smile. "…It's not really mine to give… or maybe it is… but will you wear this pendant for me? Because I want you to remember what I've told you."

_Because I want to be there to guard you myself._

"Ah… yes, I will. I would love to."

Before Atosaki could take the necklace from him, Lancer moved closer and began to fix it around her neck, prompting her to blush and lift her hair at the back to make things easier.

"Let's get out of this place," he said as he finished. "It's damn depressing down here and today's a nice day."

"Yes, you're right," she agreed, one hand fondling the pendant hanging at her collarbone. "Then… would you mind coming with me to my parents' memorial? I want to thank them for everything they did. And tell them… I'm willing to move on."

Lancer nodded and walked with Atosaki to the stairwell where they entered, looking only one more time at the face of Áine Fraga's father. The more he looked at him, the more he thought that man resembled Bazett, with dark, mahogany-hued hair, a two-piece suit and stern eyes. An uncle, perhaps, or even more crazy, Atosaki and Bazett might have been half-sisters. He would never know; he couldn't ask either one of them.

In a way it felt like fate was giving him another chance to protect something, and to do it right this time. Atosaki didn't need to know about the Grail War. She didn't need to know about Servants and the world of magic, it would only hurt her more. And as much as he hated to admit it, his reasoning was partially selfish, because he liked how things were.

To hide the truth without a lie, he was just as bad as the others who concealed it from her, just as foolish too.

The truth could only remain buried so long.

* * *

A/N: …If this is bad it's because I've been sick for a week and haven't eaten anything and lost like five pounds so far… but I hope you like it! I will work very hard for you! (/ w \\) Please review~


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